Regression and Redemption
by Gwenhwyfar1984
Summary: A witch's spell de-ages the Winchesters, and Meg and Castiel care for them. The situation forces Meg to consider aspects of her past. Part of the Meg Lives Series.


Written for What If AU Lj community challenge 23.

This fic contains a brief, obscure Fringe reference.

* * *

Meg was seated at a table in the library reading a gossip magazine. The Winchesters and Castiel had been on a hunt for the last two days. The brothers finally left her alone in the bunker. Of course, extra warding had gone up on specific areas, but that was to be expected. The point was, she had finally been allowed to be alone since her rescue, and it was wonderful.

It wasn't that she wasn't grateful to have been rescued from certain death. She was. It was that she felt suffocated. There was zero trust from the brothers, and Castiel...well, she wasn't sure if it was lack of trust or lack of belief that she really could turn good. She saw him watching her every move for some sign she was returning to her evil ways.

The sound of feathers and the feeling of angelic grace alerted her to the fact that Castiel had arrived. Clutching one of Castiel's hands was a little boy, and in Castiel's arms was a baby. Seeing the sandy hair, over-sized green jacket the kid was wearing, and the flannel the baby was wrapped in, she realized what had happened.

"Looks like you found that witch," she said.

"Yes," Castiel replied. He looked down at the little boy. "Dean, this is Meg."

Dean waved shyly. "Hi."

"Hi." She looked back at Cas. "Witch can't change them back?"

"...I smote the witch before I knew she had done this."

"I see. Well, that's my cue to leave. Good luck with this."

She got up from the chair and headed for the staircase. Behind her, she heard Cas say something to Dean. Cas caught up with her in the entryway.

"Meg, wait! Please. I need your help."

She laughed. "What do you expect me to to? I'm not a witch."

"I know that. I'm going to contact Rowena for assistance."

"Who's Rowena?"

He looked down, a sure sign that whatever he was about to say would upset her. "Rowena is Crowley's mother. She occasionally aids us."

"Okay, now I'm really out of here."

"Wait! Rowena hates Crowley, so you have nothing to worry about. Please, Meg, stay."

She crossed her arms. "Again, I ask, what can I do?"

"Help me with them until Rowena can fix this? I know nothing about the care of tiny humans." He seemed calm, but his eyes had a panicked expression. It almost made her laugh.

"Do I look like Mary Poppins?"

"I don't understand that reference."

"I'm shocked."

He looked away for a moment. "I would be most grateful, and willing to repay you in any way you desire."

Meg's eyes widened and slowly smiled. "Really? Well, I'd be a poor demon if I passed that up. You've got yourself a deal."

They returned to the library only to find it empty. Castiel looked alarmed, and Meg sighed.

"Lesson one of tiny humans. You can't leave them alone."

Castiel hurried off to search the dormitory while Meg headed into the kitchen. She found baby Sam laying in the center of the table, crying, and Dean rifling through the pantry. After calling to Castiel that she had found them, she entered the kitchen.

"Help you find anything?" she asked, picking Sam up from the table before he fell.

"Sammy's hungry," Dean said.

"Apparently."

"Where's the baby food?"

"We don't have any."

"But he's hungry, and he can't eat this stuff."

Meg sighed and shifted the squirming baby. "I'll go get some. What about you? There's burritos in there."

"Sammy first."

"You sure?" She opened the fridge and pulled out the bag.

Dean looked longingly at the bag but shook his head.

Meg set the box on the table and handed Sam to Dean. "Fine. Hold your brother until Castiel comes back. Do not put him on the table!"

She found Castiel ending a phone call in the library.

"Rowena needs to research a few things, but she'll be here as soon as she can," he informed her.

"Good. Dean's thing with Sam is annoying as an adult. As a kid it's just creepy."

"Thing?"

"You know, Sam comes first, it's all about Sam."

Castiel frowned. "As far as he is concerned his mother was murdered a month ago. I think he is burying his grief in caring for his brother."

She didn't say anything. Azazel had killed Mary Winchester, and Azazel had been Meg's demon father. She was now trying to be good, and anything having to do with Azazel made her conflicted and uncomfortable.

"I'm going to go get supplies."

"Meg. Do not think that I judge you for your past. I accept who you are," Castiel said quietly.

She started to reply that she didn't need his acceptance, thank you very much, but stopped. That was a lie. She actually cared what the angel thought of her.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. As for the tiny Winchesters just...just keep an eye on them."

At the grocery store she stocked up on diapers, baby food, and formula. A few child agreeable food items were bought for Dean. Next, she stopped at a clothing store and got clothes for the brothers. At the last minute she made one more stop.

Back at the bunker she found everyone crowded around a television.

"You learn fast," she said, seeing how captivated Dean was by the cartoon on the screen.

"It's a profound narrative for a sponge," Castiel replied.

"Right... Okay, let's get these two cleaned up." She pulled out the pack of diapers and Castiel held out the baby. She shoved the pack at him. "I am not changing Sam Winchester's diapers. It's easy. Cartoons go in the front."

"I..." Castiel eyed the pack doubtfully.

Meg ignored him and turned off the television. "Dean? Please tell me you can dress yourself?"

Dean gave her an indignant look and nodded.

She handed him a bag. "Cartoons go in the front."

While they got ready, Meg went into the kitchen. She took out the baby food and formula. She hadn't known how long it would take for Rowena to get there, so she had bought enough for several days.

Setting a pot on the stove, she poured in a can of chicken noodle soup. After looking through the jars of baby food, she selected mashed carrots. Then she realized a problem.

"There's no high chair," she told Castiel when he entered the kitchen with the boys.

"Then one us will have to hold him while feeding him," Cas replied. He took the jar of carrots and baby spoon and settled at the table.

Dean climbed up into a chair and Meg set a bowl of soup in front of him. He wrinkled his nose. "I don't like chicken soup."

"It's what there is," Meg replied.

"What 'bout the 'ritos?" he asked.

"You turned down the burritos. Now there's soup."

"PB an' J?" he asked hopefully.

"Look kid, I don't negotiate. You eat what's in front of you or you don't eat," she replied, crossing her arms.

"Meg..." Cas said quietly.

"Let me have this!" she whispered harshly to him.

A hint of a smile tugged at Cas' lips and he returned to feeding Sam.

Dean picked up the spoon and let the soup pour back in the bowl. "Yucky."

Meg just sat down and stared at him with a raised eyebrow. Dean glared sullenly back, but after a while picked up the spoon and began to eat. He ate so fast she feared that he would choke. He certainly couldn't have really tasted any of it, but that was probably the point. Finally, he set down his spoon and looked at her expectantly.

"Good job," she said, getting up and taking away the bowl. She returned with a plate that held a tiny slice of cherry pie.

Dean's eyes grew huge and he grinned.

Castiel gave her a questioning look and she just shrugged. "Anything to keep him quiet."

"This seems to be an exercise in futility. I'm not sure he is actually swallowing any of the food," Castiel said, frustration evident in his voice.

Meg saw that Sam's chin and cheeks were smeared with carrots.

"You gotta do The Choo Choo," Dean said, taking a bite of pie.

"I do not understand."

Dean sighed and shifted in his chair to face the angel and baby. Taking the spoon from Castiel, he looked at his brother and made train noises, moving the spoon towards Sam's mouth. Sam grinned and made a happy exclamation, and Dean took the opportunity to stick the spoon in Sam's mouth. Sam chewed and swallowed.

Dean handed the spoon back to Cas. "The Choo Choo."

"I...see..." Cas replied, obviously not seeing the point. He narrowed his eyes at the spoon and tried Dean's trick. It made such an absurd sight that she started laughing. Even Dean laughed at Cas' stiff, awkward attempts at The Choo Choo.

After lunch the boys returned to cartoons. Meg read in her room for a while, but was interrupted some time later by Sam's wailing. Rolling her eyes, she got up and went to see what was going on.

"He's sleepy," Dean said, watching Cas try to rock the upset baby.

"Then why does he not simply sleep?" Cas asked.

Dean shrugged. "He's a baby. Babies are stupid."

Meg snorted and entered the room. Cas had taken a laundry basket and made it into a makeshift crib. Dean was sitting on the foot of the bed, watching his brother carefully.

Cas hummed a few notes, which only made Sam cry harder.

"I don't know what you want," Cas said to the baby.

Then Sam said a single word. "Mama!"

Cas froze, and Meg watched Dean. The child's face crumpled for the briefest of seconds before settling into a calm, determined mask. She had witnessed it before on the grown Dean. Now she knew when it began.

"It's okay, Sammy," Dean said, patting his baby brother's back. "It'll be okay."

"Dean?" Meg called. "Come here."

"Sammy's—" Dean protested.

"Sam is fine. Cas has him. Right Cas?"

"Yes. Go with Meg."

Dean reluctantly followed Meg as she retrieved a bag from her room, and then out of the bunker. She led him into the trees outside the building.

"Here," she said, handing him the bag. He opened it and pulled out toys. There were several action figures, some dinosaurs, a tiny plane, and a stuffed dog. "Mine?"

"Uh huh. Now, go play."

"Huh?"

She motioned to the trees around them. "Play."

He looked back towards the entrance to the bunker then at the toys. Meg nodded at him and he sat down on the ground. At first he halfheartedly moved the figured around, but after a while he got involved. He made voices and action noises, getting up and using the nature around him as part of whatever story he was creating. Meg leaned against a tree, bored, but keeping an eye on the child.

She was joined some time later by Cas and Sam. Sam looked like he had just woken up from a nap. Cas tilted his head and gave her an admiring look.

"Shut up," she said, looking away.

"This is good."

"Trying," she said, frustrated. Being good was annoying at times. Okay, most of the time.

She looked at the sleepy baby. "That happen naturally or did you-" She touched Sam's forehead with a finger.

He looked away. "I don't know what you mean."

"Mmm hmm."

They let Dean play until it got dark. Back in the bunker she made fish sticks and fries. Dean didn't complain once and ate all the food on his plate. Sam's dinner was a bottle of formula, so Castiel had no problem feeding the baby.

After dinner, Dean played with his toys and brother for a little while. Sam's happy squeals, and Dean's joyful yells filled the bunker, disturbing the normal silence. It was strange, but somehow not annoying sound.

"Bath time," Meg announced, watching from the doorway as Dean "flew" the toy plane around Sam's head.

Dean looked like he was about to argue but set the toy down and grabbed clean pajamas out of the clothing bag. He picked up the toy plane and a few dinosaurs and followed her out of the room and to one of the bathrooms. A tub of warm water waited.

"You can play but get clean too, okay?"

"Yes, Miss Meg," Dean said, disappearing into the bathroom.

Meg grinned and leaned against the hallway wall. Miss Meg. She could get used the that.

"No, he cannot remain this way," Cas said, heading to another bathroom with Sam.

"I know. Just let me have this, Clarence!"

Bedtime had finally arrived, and Meg was relieved. Cas had securely tucked Sam inside the laundry basket, and the baby was blinking sleepily at them.

"Night Sammy," Dean said, kissing the baby on the forehead before climbing into the bed.

"It's sleep time," Meg said. "No getting in and out of bed over and over to stay up later, okay?"

Dean nodded.

"Is it not customary to tell a story now?" Cas asked.

"I..." Meg began.

"'S okay. I don't get stories anymore," Dean said, pulling the blankets up to his chin. "I'm a big boy now, and big boys go right to sleep."

"How old are you?" Meg asked, although she knew the answer.

Dean held up four fingers.

"That's fucked up," Meg said once she and Cas were in the library. "That's...he's a baby. They're babies."

"It is," Cas agreed.

Meg paced back and forth. She felt strange. Uncomfortable and uneasy. Almost sick even, though demons didn't get sick.

"Meg," Cas said quietly.

"What?" she demanded harshly. She didn't like how she was feeling. It was foreign and she shied away from it.

"Redemption is not just changing your ways. It is also acknowledging what you have done in the past."

"I did not kill Mary Winchester!" she exclaimed. "That was all Azazel!"

"He was your father. You supported him with your entire self in everything that he did. Everything."

Meg stopped pacing and ran her fingers through her hair. "Yes."

"I imagine you celebrated this victory."

"Yes." It had been a good day in Hell.

Castiel nodded. "So you are involved."

Meg opened her mouth to argue but found that she couldn't.

"What you're feeling is called guilt, Meg."

"I don't understand. What's the point?"

"To acknowledge that what you did was wrong, and to never do it or anything like it again."

Meg shook her head and stormed off to her room.

That night there was a soft knock on Meg's door. She called for them to enter. Dean's head looked around the door.

"What's wrong?" she asked, wondering why Castiel hadn't caught the kid. She had figured he'd be doing his angelic watching over the brother's thing now that they couldn't protest.

"I had a bad dream, Miss Meg," he said, looking nervous. He seemed to be bracing himself as though she were going to yell at him.

"I see," she replied, ready to send him right back to bed. Bad dreams couldn't hurt you, after all.

Instead she took in his sleepy, anxious face, his superhero pajamas, and the way he was clutching the stuffed dog.

"All right. Come here. Climb in," she said, pulling back the never used sheets and blankets.

He ran over and climbed into the bed. She pulled the desk chair up and propped her feet on the bed. One hand slipped out from under the blankets to clutch her pant leg.

"Once upon a time," she began. "There was this dog. The dog wasn't an ordinary dog. It was..."

Four hours later Dean was enveloped in purple smoke.

"Cas!" Meg called, leaping up.

A moment later a grown Dean replaced the child. He awoke and blinked at her.

"Geez! What the hell, Meg? Why are you in my room?"

"Look around, genius. This is my room."

He looked around and then down at himself. He felt around under the covers and pulled up the tattered remains of a Hulk pajama top. "What the hell is going on?"

"Witch turned you and Sam into kids. Cas and I have been taking care of you. You're welcome."

"And I'm here why?" he asked, gesturing to her room.

"You had a bad dream."

He scoffed. "And I came to you?"

"Yep." She opened the door to the room. "Look, just keep the sheets, okay?"

In the halls she found a very freaked out looking Sam wrapped in a blanket talking to Castiel.

"A-a baby? I was a baby?" Sam said.

"Yes, as I explained. You—" he broke off when his phone rang. He answered it and listened for a few moments. "Thank you, Rowena." He hung up and sighed. "Rowena says that from the sounds of things the de-aging spell was more defense then offense. A distraction so the witch could get away. She thinks it will wear off on its own."

"Obviously," Meg said, and Cas gave her a small smile.

"A baby?" Sam asked again.

Meg took him by the shoulders and looked up into his eyes. "Yes, Sam Winchester. You were a seven month old, diaper wearing, mashed food eating, bottle drinking, nap taking baby."

"Okay," he nodded and wandered off in the direction of his room.

"I think I liked the baby better."

Later that day Meg went into the room they had prepared for the child Winchesters and found Dean inside. He looked up when he saw her, and his expression was unreadable. She ignored him and began packing away the kids supplies.

"You were Miss Meg," he said.

She looked at him. "You remember?"

"It's like it happened a long time ago, but yeah. I remember."

"Oh."

"I didn't know you were a demon. I just knew you were...a nice lady."

"Thanks."

He tossed the dinosaur toy into the bag she was holding and went to the doorway. He hesitated for a moment. "What happened to the dog?"

"The stuffed dog?" she asked, confused.

"No. The dog in your story."

"Ah. It found a family that accepted him because they also had mind reading powers."

Dean shook his head with a smile. "You really suck at storytelling."


End file.
